My state of Predestined Misery

By Anonymous

What is it that I could have done differently? Should I have worn fuller skirts, should I have not worn the hipsters that were all the rage, should I have gone on a diet so that my ample behind did not show so much, should I have smiled less brightly, should I have avoided conversation with him, should I have been invisible, should my father never have died? Should he have left me a trust fund that would allow me to be self-sufficient and never lack? Should I never have gone to live with them in the first place? So many questions and no answer as to why he sexually molested me.

I remember standing outside of myself and wondering how I should respond to his sexual advances, his clammy hands clawing me, the lewd sexual innuendos directed at me, the leery looks cast above my aunt’s head as we sat at the dinner table…. He was after all my guardian following my father’s death. I wondered if he felt, and whether or not he was actually entitled to the fringe benefits accruing to him by mere fact of his having sent me to school, having provided me with a roof over my head and food in my stomach.

I had options: I could play along just so I could be out of harm’s way and not ruffle feathers unnecessarily. I could report him to my aunt whereupon I would put an end to his predation of me even though it meant destroying their marriage and alienating me from the people who provided a roof over my head. I could report him to the police and risk alienating myself from the bigger family by taking matters into my own hands; the matter’s resolution which, by cultural right belonged to vanababa vemhuri yangu (who by this time knew about this predation but had chosen to let the matter rest- it was more important that I finish my school with a roof over my head and meanwhile I needed to do whatever It took to protect myself from this man in his house).

My aunt was willing to forgive him this one transgression among innumerable indiscretions he committed against her but she was unwilling to disbelieve him when he told her I lied about his molestation of me even though it was not the first time he had sexually molested someone, having molested a maid once before. Doing so would shatter the perfectly embroidered lie of their marriage and depreciate her standing among her church peers. Even though she had suffered sexual abuse at a young age and I felt she should have known better about the trauma which I had gone through,   her condemnation of me only made things worse.

I found myself being judged along the lines of the perpetuated purity myth that places the emphasis on women having to remain chaste; conflating abstinence with responsibility and the construction of a good girl paradigm. My case was judged too, along the lines of the myth of male weakness which suggests that all men are cavemen; brutish and hyper-sexual, that their civility is a mist which can evaporate at any time. They suggested that men, driven by the irresistible forces of the Y chromosome and testosterone, are to be applauded for even the most half-hearted efforts at self-restraint. For some reason their ‘inherent’ vulnerability to temptation and their concomitant single-mindedness, suggested that, after all had been said and done, it was my job to protect him from himself.

I remember all too vividly the shame I felt when I shouldn’t have felt shame. The horrible guilt I felt when I should not have felt guilty. Feeling like I owed it to the both of them to keep them together, that I owed it to my family to forget my own pain because it was more important to recognise the collective good that would be the result of my shutting up. I was socialised to think in terms of the collective, never mind the individual harm caused, but it grated with me that the very system ostensibly designed to protect me, patriarchy, was working to stifle the very life out of me.

When sexual abuse happens to women I will them with everything that is in me to fight using the law at their disposal but I am aware that the same law was available to me then as it is now but I have not used it to bring the perpetrator to book. So many factors inform my decision, least of which is that I will let sleeping dogs lie, reliving the trauma is not something I particularly relish doing. I imagine that there are plenty of women like myself who have been faced with the same dilemma and have not done as justice would have them do because there are so many other factors to consider other than merely bringing the perpetrators of their violence to book.

My notions of what women need to be secure are informed by such things as I have first-hand knowledge. I envision a world where women do not have to apologise for being women as I had to and still continue to do. I hope that someday, the family, so highly esteemed in our social structures, will protect women and young girls and stop apologising for men where they have wronged women. I hope that someday women shall rise and cease to live in a state of predestined misery.

Women, Stand up for your rights!

On Saturday the 24^th of November the Ministry of Women’s Affairs, Gender and Community Development officially launched the 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence. The 16 days kicked off with a three day fair at which different organisations that offer services to victims of gender-based violence show-cased their work. The aura at the launch was inspiring. Men and women who understand the destructive nature of gender-based violence gathered to demand “Peace in the Home and Peace in the Community.”  Artists such as  Sniper ‘gweta remabhebhi, ’Albert Nyati, Tererai Mugwadi and others also graced the occasion to add their voices to the demand for an end to gender-based violence. The MC, a lively man, kept the crowd roaring with laughter but underneath all the humour his message stood out loud and clear that people should love their partners and not abuse them.

Often, around the 16 days, many comments are raised about how women are not the only victims yet all the attention is on them, why women do not leave if they are in abusive relationships, and about what women may have done to deserve a beating from their partners. These comments are condescending  because one can never know what it feels like to be beaten senseless or to be genuinely petrified of the man you said ‘I do’ to. Many women are caught in a web of violence and do not know where or how to get help.

The fair gave some women access to legal services to get protection orders and others knowledge about the location of safe houses when the need arises. The fair provided a space for all citizens to understand that violence is unacceptable as well as to know where to go to seek help.

We often hear arguments that the women’s movement in Zimbabwe died a natural death. However whether that is an altogether accurate assertion cannot be proved more wrong  than by the woman who was chased out of her house and had some lawyers fight for her or by the woman who was beaten every day and didn’t have anywhere to go but found an organisation that gave her shelter and counselling to enable her to be alive today.

Although these efforts may not be as comprehensive as is required, they are significant to the thousands of women without which there would have been no assistance at all.So when we talk of the 16 days of activism, it is not a time for ‘bitter women to rut against men’ as some may perceive it to be. It is a time to stand up against violence that has affected our society, because be it a sister, a neighbour or a friend of a friend we must say no to  gender-based violence!

16 Days of Activism. What are you doing?

The  23^rd of November 2012 marks the first day of 16 days of activism against Gender Based Violence (GBV). This year Zimbabwe unites with the rest of the world under the global theme “From Peace in the Home to Peace in the World: Let’s Challenge all forms of Gender Based Violence and End Violence against Women!” Gender-based violence is usually committed against women and girls and although sexual violence against men and boys also occurs there are reportedly fewer cases. GBV is an umbrella term for any harmful act that is perpetrated against a person’s will and that is based on socially ascribed (gender) differences between men and women. The nature and extent of specific types of GBV vary across cultures, countries and regions. Examples include rape, sexual exploitation and forced prostitution; domestic violence; trafficking; forced or early marriage; and harmful traditional practices, such as female genital mutilation and honour killings. Lately the media has been reporting cases of domestic violence, highlighting its prominence in Zimbabwe.

It is therefore important for Zimbabweans to familiarise themselves with the current laws on GBV and encourage policy makers to continuously review these laws to combat GBV. We all have a role to play in raising the visibility of Gender Based Violence and prioritising the prevention of violence against women, girls and men. CHANGE BEGINS WITH YOU TODAY!!

Five men rape 12 Year old girl.

http://www.herald.co.zw/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=50465:five-men-rape-12-year-old-girl&catid=46:crime-a-courts&Itemid=138

A 12 year old Harare girl has stunned the Harare Magistrate Court after admitting to having consented to be intimate with five men. The minor was testifying in a case where a 22 year old man Nyasha Kaitano was facing charges of having raped the minor. Two of them were convicted and fined for having been intimate with a minor. Tapfumanei  Kaitano (26) and one Lloyd (21) were both fined US$200 each by different magistrates. Another accused Victor Lemon (22) yesterday appeared in court for his initial remand charged with rape. He was remanded in custody to August 30 and advised to apply for bail at the High Court. According to Zimbabwean law a minor below the age of 16 is incapable of consent.

The trial of Nyasha Kaitano (22) opened yesterday before magistrate Mr Rodgers Kachambwa.
Nyasha pleaded not guilty, arguing that the intimacy was by consent. He gave evidence stating that he and the minor were in love; in cross examination the minor admitted to having consensual sex with Nyasha. He accused the girl of making the advances. Nyasha said they became intimate at a friend’s house. He claimed to have asked the minor if she had been intimate before and she admitted to having had sex with two other men. The girl’s guardian, her aunt submitted that on the night of July 30, the girl disappeared from home and they made a police report. “After a fruitless search, we decided to report her missing and with the help of the police we managed to find her the following day at one of her boyfriend’s house, Lemon.  She went on to tell the court that the girl needed help.
“A medical examination was conducted and it disclosed that it was not her first time to sleep with men and when police interviewed her, she listed all her boyfriends.

The trial continues today.

Zimbabwe Lawyers for Human Rights’ response to Newsday Article of 11 July 2012

This position paper was written by Zimbabwe Lawyers for Human Rights in response to the following article in Newsday yesterday: http://www.newsday.co.zw/article/2012-07-11-2008-killers–off-the-hook

Zimbabwe Lawyers for Human Rights (ZLHR) continues to follow closely, and with interest, the progress relating to the operationalisation of the Zimbabwe Human Rights Commission (ZHRC).

ZLHR commends the renewed commitment by the Minister of Justice & Legal Affairs, and Parliament, to finalise the legislation required to make the ZHRC functional. This is long overdue. It is also in line with recommendations to ensure that the ZHRC can commence its operations as soon as possible, as accepted by the Government of Zimbabwe during the United Nations (UN) Human Rights Council’s Universal Periodic Review of Zimbabwe held last year, and as strongly expressed by UN High Commissioner for Human Rights, Navi Pillay, during her visit to Zimbabwe earlier this year.

The importance of having an operational commission to deal with protection of human rights cannot be over-emphasised, particularly in a society where violations of fundamental rights and freedoms remain prevalent. The urgency of having a functional mechanism to investigate and deal with violations is further heightened where elections loom, and bearing in mind previous trends in Zimbabwe where such violations escalate in the run-up to, and following, key electoral and other political processes.

So too, Zimbabwe remains a country with immense challenges relating to the continuing culture of impunity for perpetrators of human rights violations. Without providing mechanisms to investigate and deal with past human rights violations – whether through trials, national enquiries, reparations, memorialisation, amongst other means – our society will never be able to escape the vicious cycle of impunity or ensure non-recurrence of such heinous crimes.

There has been much debate and speculation in relation to the emotive issue of the temporal jurisdiction of the ZHRC, which has been set in the ZHRC Bill as 13 February 2009 – a date agreed by the three negotiating political parties.

ZLHR has also noted the intention of the government to establish a national mechanism that will deal with issues relating to post-conflict justice, healing and reconciliation separately from the ZHRC, although precise details as to the ambit of such a mechanism remain sparse. This accords with regional and continental good practice, where human rights institutions and truth/justice/reconciliation commissions have traditionally been separate mechanisms.

ZLHR is of the considered view that there is urgent need to approve the legislation that will operationalise the ZHRC and allow it to substantively commence its functions. It is a critical institution in the difficult battle to reduce, stop and/or prevent ongoing and future human rights violations in Zimbabwe. It must be fully functional in order to play its role as elections approach. Resistance in relation to the issue of temporal jurisdiction is delaying such operationalisation and ensuring that the ZHRC cannot act on any ongoing and future human rights violations.

At the same time the political parties in government must, with urgency and guided by the recommendations made by survivors of past human rights violations, establish an independent mechanism to deal with issues relating to past human rights violations and atrocities. The mandate of this independent mechanism must be to deal with all past human rights violations that have occurred in Zimbabwe, including the pre-Independence era, as well as the post-Independence atrocities of Gukurahundi, Operation Murambatsvina, and electoral-related crimes, amongst others.

It is the role of government to ensure the speedy establishment of such an independent and credible mechanism. However political parties, trade unions, the broad civil society, non-governmental organisations, and survivors of violations and their families, must also ensure that they play their role in ensuring that sufficient pressure is brought to bear on the government to make this a reality and to do so with urgency.

Further, and for the avoidance of any doubt, it must be clearly understood and stressed that crimes committed in the past remain crimes, whether or not a national human rights institution or other mechanism exists to deal with past human rights violations. Government, political players and other perpetrators of violations must disabuse themselves of the notion that the creation of such mechanisms removes responsibility and punishment for such crimes.

There is a constitutional and legal obligation on the police, the prosecutorial authorities and the judiciary to respectively investigate and arrest, prosecute, and punish convicted perpetrators. ZLHR expects these constitutional duties to be carried out without fear or favour, and will continue to exercise its watchdog role in this regard.

Why Report Rape?

A few weeks ago, a young lady, aged 17, who was employed to work as a housemaid was left home alone with the gardener. When the owner of the house returned a few hours later she found the young lady crying and traumatised. After questioning her she learnt that the gardener had raped the girl.  The girl said she wanted to report the matter to the police and she was escorted by her employer to the police station. Upon asking the gardener what he had done all he could do was say ‘I am sorry’. At no point did he deny the allegation against him.

The police were informed and two female officers came and arrested him. I was shocked later on to hear that this young lady gave her statement to the police and was told to come back the next day when they would take her to the rape clinic. Shocking as it may be, she returned to the police station the next day and was then taken to the rape clinic.

Various NGOs have been working tirelessly to ensure that women are educated about what to do when they are raped. To then have the police, who are supposed to be more knowledgeable, tell someone that they would take them to the clinic the next day is disheartening.

Women are encouraged to report a rape immediately so they can then be taken to a hospital or clinic. The hospital or clinic staff will use what is called an evidence kit which affords the opportunity to collect any DNA that may have been left by the suspect.The examination usually contains a head to toe examination of the victim. The victim is advised not to bath before going to the clinic and also to keep the clothes she had been wearing when she was raped. This is critical as it will be used for evidence in a rape case. Victims are given medication for the prevention of HIV/Aids, sexually transmitted infections, unwanted pregnancies and any other medical care required. This is best if given within 72 hours of the rape, but victims are encouraged to report expeditiously.

It is disappointing to learn that police officers who are supposed to be trained in how to deal with rape cases are still telling victims to return the next day to go to the clinic. But, maybe I am being too harsh on these police officers. The questions perhaps should be; do the police officers know what to do when a person has reported a rape? Do they understand the importance of the time element?

It may not be a surprise then that this case never made it very far. The young man was released within a few days and the particulars of his release were never related to the public. The young lady disappeared from the community and many were left to speculate what had transpired.

Though the details of what transpired in the end were a mystery I cannot help but wonder whether the actions of the officers contributed to the outcome and how many times they continue delaying any action in cases of rape?

Don’t blame the victim-blame the rapist

Food for thought...